Tearing Us Apart
by Vampyrrhic Victory
Summary: Bella is changed to a vampire, but will her bloodlust tear her, her family, and the love of her life apart? BETTER SUMMARY INSIDE!
1. The Change

**Disclaimer: All characters in this story associated with Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse are sadly, not my own, but creations of the fabulous Stephanie Meyer.  
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**Summary: The story begins right at Bellas transformation into a vampire. She has an enormous amount of bloodlust that she finds hard to control, and it begins to eat away at her relationship with Edward and the rest of her family. Bloodlust becomes her very existence, rather than Edward. With the help of Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and of course, Edward Cullen, can she go back to being the same Bella the Cullens know and love? MUCH BETTER THAN THE SUMMARY SOUNDS!**

**Authors Note: Hello! This is my first fanfiction ever… so please go easy on me! I humbly ask that you kindly bestow upon me the honor of your reviews. Read and enjoy!!**

**Betas Note: Hello! This is Breathe Bella speaking (writing?)! As Vampyrrhic Victory's beta, I expect you to worship this almighty author with your glorious reviews filled with praise and love! Please and thank you!**

BELLAS POV

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Edward asked, not even attempting to hide the fear and reluctance in his voice. "We could wait another year… or even until you graduate college! Bella please…"

I put my index finger to his lips to quiet his worrisome ranting. "Edward, I want this more than anything in the world. Please, I don't think I can wait any longer."

He nodded silently with a tortured sorrow in his eyes "I love you, my sweet, beautiful Bella."

"I love you too, Edward. I always have and I always will. Please don't worry about me. I promise you, this is what I want.

Carlisle opened the door slowly. "How do you feel, Bella?"

"I'm ready as I'll ever be!"

Carlisle looked to Edward, sending him a though.

Edward took a long, deep inhalation. "I can only hope so, Carlisle." He turned to me. "This is going to hurt, love. It's going to hurt a lot. And I'm sorry I have to do this. I love you."

"I love you, too." He leaned down and kissed my lips gently. Then, he turned to Carlisle, exchanging a nod.

"You'll do fine, son."

Edward leaned over me, and I winced as his teeth lacerated my wrists. The venom there was only starting to burn.

"You're doing great." I heard Carlisles placid voice. "Now her ankles."

Edwards cold hands lightly gripped my calves as he made searing incisions in my ankles. I groaned and squirmed. The venom was seething under my skin. I let out an unintentional scream.

Edwards voice was distressed. "Carlisle…"

"You know how this happens. She will be fine, just finish her neck and soon enough she will be asleep."

I knew this would be the most painful cut. He pushed the hair gently away from my neck and kissed the spot before he sliced into it.

The pain was horrible. I could feel the venom burning through me. I was writhing and convulsing on the bed and screaming in pain. My heart was beginning to slow.

_Thud. Thud. Thud… Thud…… Thud………._

Edwards distressed, horrified voice was slowly fading into the background and the high-pitched ringing in my ears was becoming prominent, wracking my brains and making me hold my ears. I could hear myself scream.

"Carlisle, what do we do?!" Edward was screaming, but it reached my ears as only a whisper, barely audible over the ringing. I could feel myself going into unconsciousness. A sudden pang – my heart must have stopped – and I slipped into the last slumber I would ever have.

EDWARDS POV

She was asleep now. Every once in a while she would squirm or whimper, but it was far more bearable than before. It had been quite a few hours since the change was initiated, and I hadn't left this room once. Mostly, I had been alone, with the exception of Carlisles occasional visits to make sure that her change was preceding normally.

This was the most nerve-wracking day of my long, long life. Bellas pain was my pain, and seeing her writhing in agony ripped my cold, dead heart from my chest.

I only hoped that she made the right choice; that she wouldn't take one look at us and the way we live and wish she had never been changed in the first place. Or worse yet, wish she had never met me! I was pacing the room, going through all the possibilities in my head when Jasper opened the door slowly and poked his head into the room.

"Edward, please… your anxiety is overwhelming."

"I know, Jasper. I'm sorry, I'm just so worried about her. Don't you think she should have woken up by now? She was in so much pain. And what if she doens't like being a vampire? Or what if she doesn't like me?..."

And then, Jasper's palm collided with my cheek. He'd never done _that _before!

"Jasper!" I stuttered, holding my cheek, "You just… I can't believe you… WHAT?!"

Jasper shrugged. "You were in hysterics."

Silently, I took my seat in the arm chair next to Bellas bed. "I needed that, didn't I?"

He nodded in response.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome. You know Bella will love you no matter what. She loves you more than anything in the world. She knows well what is to come and there was not an ounce of fear in her body. Alice has seen everything. Bella will be fine."

"I know… I just love her so much. I can't keep my mind from dwelling on it."

"Dwelling on what."

I whipped my head around to see my beautiful Bella, sitting up in her bed, smiling back at me.

"Bella! How are you feeling?"

"Like a vampire."

I lay down next to her and held her close to me. I sighed when I realized the absence of her heartbeat. "You look beautiful as ever, my Bella. I love you."

"I love you too Edward. And now, I will be able to be with you forever."

Despite my doubt, her words were music to my ears. I swept her dark hair from her face and pulled her close to kiss her. Her lips were as soft and smooth as ever. They traveled over mine so perfectly. This kiss was so full of meaning and love and passion. It was a kiss that said 'I will love you for all eternity'.

**--**

**Author's Note: I'd like to thank the academy, and all the little people, and my wonderful Beta, Breathe Bella! Love you!**


	2. Hunting

**Disclaimer: All characters in this story associated with Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse are sadly, not my own, but creations of the fabulous Stephanie Meyer.**

**Author's Note: I would like to apologize for my ridiculously stupid grammar errors in the first chapter involving possessives and the absence of apostrophes… I promise this chapter will be far more grammatically correct!**

**Beta's Note: DAMN THIS BETA BLOCK! (which means she has nothing to say)**

EDWARD'S POV

My whole family had congregated around Bella and I, sitting in her bed. Carlisle and Esme were on our right, Alice, Jasper and Emmett were to our left and Rosalie was standing off to the side, not wanting to take part in any of our happiness. Jasper had to work twice as hard to keep everyone (particularly Alice) calm. Alice's thoughts were frenzied and sickeningly giddy.

_AHHHH! BELLA'S ONE OF US NOW! My little sister! Now we can be best friends for ever and ever…_

Rosalie's, however, were not nearly as jubilant, but shamelessly and blatantly sour.

_She had the perfect human life. She could have had everything I didn't and she's throwing it away! Oh, she'll find out just what this life – if you could even call it that – is like! I hope she's happy with it. At least happier than I was._

I glared at her. She responded with the same fiery look, almost daring me to say something, but I knew better. This was supposed to be a happy moment, whether Rosalie believed so or not.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm a little bit sore, but that's not big deal," Bella responded. "And my throat burns."

Emmett clapped his hands together. "I think it's time to take Bella on her first hunt!"

"No!" I blurted out, without consulting my brain first. All heads were turned to me and their thoughts were confused. In a far quieter voice, I spoke. "I want to be the one to take her."

A warm, sympathetic smile came across Esme's face. "Dear, I think we should all take Bella hunting as a family. But of course, the choice is hers." She turned her head. "Bella?"

"Edward, can we all go together? Please?"

"Of course, love." I took her hands in mine and kissed her gently on the forehead. She giggled the same giggle as she had when she was human. I was glad that hadn't changed.

"So what are we waiting for?" Emmett exclaimed. "Let's get this show on the road!"

Bella hopped out of her bed (without any trace of her previous clumsiness, might I add) and our whole family dashed at vampire speed out of the room.

BELLA'S POV

I was moving as fast as my feet could carry me. My hair was whipping around my face, carried violently by the wind. Trees seemed to move out of my way, and the background was blurring into a mess of green and brown. Edward was running by my side.

"DAMN BELLA!" Emmett's voice boomed from behind me.

"What Emmett?" I was confused. "What's wrong?"

"You're running as fast as Edward! Who woulda known?"

"My, I've never seen anything like this before! You've become so strong so soon. I always suspected that you would be a very fast, but this! This is absolutely fascinating." Carlisle said, almost dumbfounded.

I was beaming, and when I looked to Edward, so was he.

"I am so proud of you," He whispered and placed a kiss upon my forehead.

"Awww!" Alice was smiling a huge, goofy smile.

"Gee, thanks, Alice." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Anytime, little sister." She answered and gave me her most innocent smile.

"Can we _please_ get a move on? I'm thirsty!" Emmett was getting very impatient.

"Fine," Alice shrugged, "Let's go."

And we all took off again, Edward and I in the lead.

"My children," Carlisle stopped us, "we must not go any farther. Jasper, Emmett and Edward have only scouted to this point, and it would be hazardous to move on. There are deer in the area. We can hunt those until they scout further."

We had just moved to Canada from Forks. It was cold here, but now that I was a vampire, I didn't even notice. Our home was surrounded by a forest and, as far as we knew, nobody else. We would stay here until it was safe for me to be around humans.

I could smell something salty in the air, and as I ran on with my family, the smell grew stronger.

I asked Edward, "Is that smell blood?"

"Yes, love. We're almost there."

In a matter of seconds, we arrived quietly at a pack of deer in a clearing and hid behind some bushes.

"Watch Emmett hunt. Then you'll do as he does," Edward whispered. Then he nodded to Emmett.

Emmett began to slowly circle around a deer. The aching and burning my throat was becoming increasingly painful.

Then he started to move faster and faster until the deer saw him as only a blur.

Edward began holding me back. I tried to maintain as much of my self control as possible but it was so tempting. All of my senses were lost and that deer was the only thing I wanted. I was desperately trying to break Edward's hold on me, almost against my own will. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me, but it only helped so much. I needed to control myself for Edward but at that moment, the only thing I could think of was the blood sliding down my throat. How good it would feel... imagining how it would taste...

While the deer was confused, Emmett pounced at him, sinking his teeth into its neck. The deer fell immediately to the ground and Emmett drained it quickly. He walked back to us, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"Now, Edward! I need to go!" He let go of my arms and I ran as fast as I could, out into the clearing and picked out a smaller deer. I stalked around it slowly, then began to pick up the pace until I reached my top speed. At what seemed to be the opportune moment, I jumped out at it, but overshot by just a bit and sailed over the deer. It tried to run away, but I was too fast for it. I hopped onto it's back and sunk my teeth into the back of it's neck. It fell over sideways, and I drank deep from it's side. The blood was thick and salty. It tasted unlike anything I'd ever eaten before, and after drinking this, I didn't think I'd ever want to eat anything else. It soothed the burning sensation in my throat perfectly, and by the time I had sucked the deer dry, the burning was gone. My senses returned to me. I calmed myself, and walked slowly back.

When I turned back to my family, they all seemed impressed. Even Rosalie had half removed her usual glare of disgust.

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Very impressive, Bella. You seem to be quite the natural!"

"Yeah, that took me four tries my first time!" Alice ran over giving me a hug. "Good job!"

Emmett patted me on the back "Very nice, kiddo."

And then I reached Jasper. I realized just then, that I had never hugged him. He had always been too afraid that he would hurt me, and now that I was a vampire, he didn't have to worry anymore! I ran to him and gave him a hug. For his ears only, I whispered, "I'm glad I can finally do that."

He nodded to me, "As am I, Bella. Very nice job."

I walked over to Edward, who pulled me into a tight hug.

"Edward... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to lose control like that and pull away. I just... lost my senses... I'm sorry."

"Bella, you are a newborn. You can't be expected to have full control while you are hunting, but soon you will. You just need to give it time, and you never have to be sorry. It's your instinct. I am so very proud of you, Bella. I love you."

"Thank you, Edward. I love you, too."

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**Of course, many thankies to my darling Beta, Breathe Bella for being awesome. huggles!**


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